Normal-a sliding scale.

It has been way too long since I have posted anything on here, so here it goes. I don't think my lack of blogging has been due to lack of subjects, it think it's because I have too many to choose from. First, let's start out by announcing that it is 4:07am and I am awake. I'm not just awake, I'm WIDE awake. This is what break does to people, it messes schedules up, and bad. I stay up late, and then hate myself for sleeping late the next day, what a waste of daylight. I wish I was one of those people who could just run on nothing. You know? Those people who just never seem to need sleep or a nap or to rest at all. They just GO...all the time. I'm not one of those people. I love to sleep. I feel sleep is the ultimate form of relaxation, rejuvination, and many other "re" words. Come next week when classes start, and I have to change this schedule my body has been on completely, it's not going to be pretty for a few days. I'll be cranky and tired all day, many naps will surely be taken. But, a new schedule will soon form, and things will feel "normal" once again.

That brings me to my next subject. This concept of normalcy, what does that mean for me? The word normal is one that is talked about and studied inside and outside of classrooms today. What does it mean to you? To society? How does it relate to other societies? When I think about the word right now, I think only about what it means to me. What is normal-feeling to Marisa? I ask myself this question becuase I don't think I've felt very normal (for how it pertains to me) in a pretty long time. As things keep changing and twisitng in my life, it slightly shifts that hint of normality I may have felt. A conversation happens and it changes things, there's another shift. I'm constatntly on this push and pull with my own life. I think this is part of becomming an adult. You have to learn to find this balance when things change. I've learned that the only way to find this balance every day, or when things shift and change, is to simply tell yourself that you are in control of your life. You have to know where YOU are in your own life. Once you know that, you can better handle curve balls that life throws at you.

I've learned that my life is ever-changing, there will never be a moment where it will just stand still. Who wants that, anyway? I want to keep growing and learning and sharing and playing.

The title of this blog is "Growth" for a reason. I have to keep moving forward with my life, whatever that means. I have to be in a position where I feel comfortable, where I don't feel pain and regret. I have to make sure that I am putting myself in that position every day. I am in control of where I am in my own life, and so are you.

good morning,

m.m.a.